A guy walks into a bar with
his pet monkey.
He orders a drink and while he's drinking the monkey jumps all around
the place.
The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs
some sliced limes and eats them, then jumps onto the pool table, grabs
one of the billiard balls, sticks it in his mouth, and to everyone's
amazement, somehow swallows it whole.
The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey
just did?"
The guy says "No, what?"
"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table---whole!"
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy, "He
eats everything in sight, the little bugger. Sorry. I'll pay for the
cue ball and stuff".
He finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the Monkey
ate, then leaves.
Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and has his monkey with him.
He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again.
While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a cherry on
the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his arse, pulls it out, and eats
it.
The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did
now?"
"No, what?" replies the guy.
"Well, he stuck a cherry up his arse, pulled it out, and ate
it!" said the bartender.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me", replied the guy. "He
still eats everything in sight, but ever since the cue ball incident,
he measures everything first."
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