|Stan has a crack at
Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?
Sweetheart: I am wearing an expensive red silk blouse, a
black leather miniskirt and high heeled boots. I am tanned and very
buffed. I workout everyday. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do
you look like?
Wellhung: I'm 6'3 and about 250 lb. I wear glasses and have
on a pair of blue sweatpants I just bought at Walmart. I'm also
wearing an old T-shirt, it's got some barbecue sauce stains on it
and it smells kind of funny.
Sweetheart: I want you. Would you like to screw me?
Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom. There's soft music playing
on the stereo and candles on my nightstand. I look up into your
eyes and I'm smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch
and I begin to feel your huge swelling bulge.
Wellhung: I'm gulping. I'm beginning to sweat.
Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.
Wellhung: Now, I'm unbuttoning your blouse. My hands are
Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly.
Wellhung: I'm taking hold of your blouse and I'm sliding
it softly off.
Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure. The cool
silk slides off of my warm body. I'm rubbing your bulge faster now,
rubbing and pulling.
Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and tears a
hole in your blouse. I'm sorry.
Sweetheart: That's, OK. It wasn't really too expensive.
Wellhung: I'll pay for it.
Sweetheart: Don't worry about it! I'm wearing a lacy black
bra, my soft breasts are rising and falling as I breathe harder
Wellhung: I'm fumbling with the clasp of your bra,I think
it's stuck. Do you have scissors?
Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly, I reach
behind my back and undo the clasp. My bra slides off. The cool air
caresses my breasts, n1pples are erekt for you.
Wellhung: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and
inspecting the clasp.
Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. Oh baby, I just want to
feel your tongue all over me.
Wellhung: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you
know, breasts. They're neat!
Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now
I'm nibbling your ear.
Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with
spit and phlegm.
Wellhung: I'm so sorry. Really.
Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm off of my breasts with
the remains of my blouse.
Wellhung: I'm taking your sopping wet blouse from you and
throwing it in the corner of the room.
Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweatpants down and rubbing
your hard tool.
Wellhung: I'm screaming like a woman! Your hands are cold!
Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties.
Wellhung: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going
all over, in and out and nibbling on you. ummm, wait a second.
Sweetheart: What's the matter?
Wellhung: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm
Sweetheart: Are you OK?
Wellhung: I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all red.
Sweetheart: Is there anything I can do to help?
Wellhung: I'm running to the kitchen. Choking wildly. Looking
for a cup. Where do you keep your cups??
Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink
Wellhung: I'm drinking a cup of water. There that's better.
Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover.
Wellhung: I'm washing the cup now.
Sweetheart: I'm aching for you lover.
Wellhung: Now I'm drying the cup. I'm putting it back in
the cabinet. And now I'm walking back to the bedroom. Wait it's
dark, I'm lost. Where is the bedroom?
Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall.
Wellhung: I found it.
Sweetheart: I'm tugging off your pants. I want you so badly.
Wellhung: Me too.
Sweetheart: I kiss you passionately. Our naked bodies pressed
against each other.
Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face.
Sweetheart: Why don't you take your glasses off?
Wellhung: OK. But I can't see very well. I'm placing my
glasses on the nightstand.
Sweetheart: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me baby!
Wellhung: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly to
Sweetheart: Hurry back lover.
Wellhung: I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm feeling
around for the toilet and lift the lid.
Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your return.
Wellhung: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush
Sweetheart: What's the matter now?
Wellhung: I just realized I peed in your hamper. Sorry again.
I'm walking back to the bed now. Blindly feeling my way.
Sweetheart: Mmmm, yes. Come on.
Wellhung: Now I'm going to put my, you know, thing in your
umm, woman's thing.
Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, Baby! Do it!
Wellhung: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice.
Ma'am, I'm having a little problem here.
Sweetheart: I'm moving my ass back and forth. I can't wait
another second. Slide it in! Screw me!
Wellhung: I'm flaccid.
Wellhung: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection.
Sweetheart: I'm standing up and turning around; an incredulous
look on my face.
Wellhung: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my wiener
all floppy. I'm looking for my glasses to see what the problem is.
Sweetheart: NO! Never mind. I'm getting dressed, I'm putting
on my underwear and my wet nasty blouse.
Wellhung: No wait. I can't find the night table. I'm reaching
across the dresser, knocking off cans of hairspray, your picture
frames and your candles.
Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. I'm putting on my shoes.
Wellhung: Now I've found my glasses. My God! One of your
candles fell on the curtain! The curtain is on fire. I'm pointing
at it with a shocked look on my face.
Sweetheart: Go to hell! I'm logging off, LOSER!
Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Nooooooo!