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"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural,
wholesome things that money can buy."
"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have
a good partner, you'd better have a good hand." "Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date
on Saturday night." "There are a number of mechanical devices which increase
sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the
Mercedes-Benz 380SL." "Leaving sex to the feminists is like letting your dog
vacation at the taxidermist." "Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."
"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake
whole relationships." "My girlfriend always laughs during sex... no matter
what she's reading." "Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where
he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it
is." "Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."
"According to a new survey, women say they feel more
comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing
in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental,
where, of course, men are just grateful."
"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because
men think, I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked."
"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a
penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time." "The position is ludicrous, the pleasure is momentary,
and the cost is damnable" |
"You
know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither."
"Sex
is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight
are unimportant."
"There's
a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are
having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause
severe swelling. So what's the problem?"
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