General Quotes

Groucho"Women should be obscene and not heard."
Groucho Marx

"Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife."
Groucho Marx

"My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself."
Emo Philips

"You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life."
Emo Philips

Spike"My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic."
Spike Milligan

"Money couldn't buy you friends, but you get a better class of enemy."
Spike Milligan

"Men are simple things. They can survive a whole weekend with only three things: beer, boxer shorts and batteries for the remote control.."
Diana Jordan

"A lecture is a process by which the notes of the professor become the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either."
RK Rathbun

"Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself."

Jack Nicholson"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
Jack Nicholson

"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
Robin Williams

"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house."
Rod Stewart