"Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will
teach you to keep your mouth shut."
Ernest Hemingway.
"I'm
not a heavy drinker, I can sometimes go for hours without touching
a drop."
Noel Coward.
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
Henny Youngman.
"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without
holding on."
Joe E Lewis.
"He was a wise man who invented beer."
Plato.
"The
problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
Humphrey Bogart.
"I drink to make other people interesting."
George Jean Nathan.
"I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample
it had an olive in it."
Rodney Dangerfield.
"Real ale fans are just like train-spotters, only drunk."
Christopher Howse.
"I've
stopped drinking, but only while I'm asleep."
George Best.
"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. They wake up
in the morning and that's the best they're going to feel all day."
Dean Martin.
"I can't die until the government finds a safe place
to bury my liver."
Phil Harris
"Reality is an illusion created by a lack of alcohol."
NF Simpson